If I Let You Go

Get in the xigxag app
Already purchased

Click to open directly in the xigxag app.

This book is not purchasable in your country. Please select another book. Pre-order Buy Now ${{ price }} Send as a gift
How does xigxag pricing work?

Listen to a sample

What to expect

A Richard and Judy Book Club pick, If I Let You Go is a darkly comic tale of searing loss, coercive control and the consequences of taking the wrong path.

'Simultaneously tragic and uplifting . . . Charlotte Levin is SUCH a clever writer' - Ruth Jones, author of Love Untold

Every morning, Janet Brown goes to work cleaning offices. It calms her – cleanliness, neatness. All the things she’s unable to do with her soul can be achieved with a damp cloth and a splash of bleach. However the guilt she still carries, about a devastating loss that happened eleven years ago, cannot be erased.

When Janet finds herself involved in a train crash, she recognizes her chance to do what she couldn’t all those years ago. And she makes a decision. As news spreads of Janet’s actions, her story inspires everyone around her and, for the first time, her life has purpose. Her future is filled with hope.

But Janet's story isn't quite what it seems. And, as events spiral out of control, she soon discovers that coming clean isn't an option. Because if Janet washes away the lies, what long-buried truths will she finally have to face?

If I Let You Go by Charlotte Levin is a deeply moving and compelling portrayal of a woman coming to terms with loss.

Critics Review

A gripping story. My heart was in my mouth!
Ruth Jones, author of Love Untold
Heartrending and surprising, with an very believable protagonist, this is a tale of loss, grief, abuse and fractured relationships. A tremendously moving second novel from Charlotte Levin.
Culturefly
Exploring grief and guilt, this thriller is an easy page turner. Heartfelt but with a dark streak.
Heat
Levin's debut If I Can't Have You was a must-read and this new book is just as addictive.
Good Housekeeping
A moving portrait of a coercive marriage that will have you gripped to see if Janet will break free
Women & Home
A thoughtful, beautifully written book about grief, and ordinary people being thrown into extraordinary circumstances. Unusual and compelling, with just a touch of humour. Loved it
Catherine Cooper author of The Chalet and The Cruise
Impossible to put down, this is a darkly brilliant novel that balances the heartbreak with the humour.
Louise Hare, bestselling author of This Lovely City
Powerful, hard-hitting, provoking
L.V. Matthews, bestselling author of The Twins and The Prank
Tremendously powerful. Nobody writes quite like Charlotte Levin. It's at once uplifting and heartbreaking; excruciating and inspiring. She captures the essence of her characters like no other writer I know. A brilliant achievement.
Emma Christie, bestselling author of Find Her First and The Silent Daughter
What a treat this book is. There hasn't been a protagonist who has got under my skin in such a big way since Eleanor Oliphant. I rooted for Janet from the first page, and in all her sadness and shyness, wanted the best for her. Beautifully observed and tender, this is a story of redemption, of loss and survival, full of twists and turns, and with a big northern heart pulsing throughout
Julie Hesmondhalgh, from The Pact, Broadchurch and Coronation Street
I loved If I Let You Go. It is beautifully written, stark yet redemptive — moving, hopeful, powerful and wonderfully human. Charlotte Levin is the queen of complex narrators. I feel like I’ve known Janet all my life.
Caroline Hulse, author of All the Fun of the Fair
Utterly gripping, almost unbearably poignant yet warm, wise and full of hope - a story I'll remember for a long time.
Frances Quinn bestselling author of The Smallest Man
Charlotte Levin is one of the most interesting and talented writers around at the moment
Trevor Wood, bestselling author of Dead End Street
It is both heartbreaking and hopeful - Charlotte writes the most stunning prose and her character observations are both darkly humorous and incredibly insightful. I loved it!
Nikki Smith author of Look What You Made Me Do
A deeply empathetic exploration of grief, loneliness, guilt, toxic relationships and forgiving oneself. At its heart, this is a poignantly sad story, but it is told with such humour and warmth that one cannot help but enjoy every nuance drawn through the perfectly written prose
Louise Fein, author of People Like Us
An intensely beautiful depiction of vulnerability that instantly draws you into the world of a disturbingly fragile woman. This is powerful and subtle writing that is incredibly moving. An exquisite book!
Victoria Dowd, author of The Smart Woman’s Guide to Murder
If I Let You Go is a funny, dark, heart-breaking book about love, courage and finding yourself. With sharp characterisation and warmth on every page, and a heroine you’ll be rooting for from the word go. I absolutely adored it.
Eleni Kyriacou, author of She Came To Stay

More from the same

Author

Narrator

About xigxag

Experience the best audiobooks with xigxag, an innovative and user-friendly audiobook platform designed for seamless discovery, purchase, and enjoyment of your favorite titles. Our flexible pricing model offers bestselling audiobooks for less, providing affordable prices and the best audiobook deals without requiring a subscription. Perfect for gifting, xigxag also features convenient audiobook gift cards and in-app audiobook gifting options.

 

Beyond the listening experience, xigxag stands as an exciting alternative to big tech, embodying a strong commitment to sustainability and ethical practices. As the only B Corp certified UK audiobook service, we ensure a guilt-free listening experience from a leader in audiobook innovation.

 

Effortlessly search audiobooks, access honest audiobook reviews that evaluate both the content and narration, and easily discover hidden gems. Whether you prefer to download or stream top audiobook titles, xigxag provides the best possible listening experience anytime, anywhere, on the UK’s best independent audiobook app. Discover the future of audiobooks today.