I’ll Die After Bingo

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What to expect

Brought to you by Penguin.

Resident: I feel I want to keep talking.
Me: Of course! What do you want to talk about?
Resident: My heart.
Me: What about your heart?
Resident: I feel I want to touch it.
Me: Your heart? You want to touch your heart?
Resident: Yes, but I’m too frightened.
Me: What are you frightened about?
Resident: Everything. People. Things.
Me: What’s frightening you at this very moment?
Resident: (Closes eyes). That I’ll never be touched again. That I won’t be able to get to my heart.
Me: Metaphorically?
Resident: More carrots please.

Whether he’s initiating a coup d’état against new regulations with the residents, or forging a bond with the 98-year old who once called him a fat slut, Pope Lonergan’s work is infinitely varied. This no-holds-barred account shows what life inside a care home is really like, for both residents and carers. Featuring night-time drama, incontinence pads and the uniquely dark humour of one double-amputee Alzheimer’s patient, here you can learn everything you ever wanted to know (and a few things you probably really didn’t) about Britain’s care system.

This important memoir challenges us all to think differently about the value of our elderly, and also the carers who look after them.

‘From fearless and funny to heart-stoppingly raw’ Evening Standard

© Pope Lonergan 2022 (P) Penguin Audio 2022

Critics Review

  • This book does for care home workers what This Is Going to Hurt did for junior doctors… this isn’t just a conscience-rebooting book. It’s also blisteringly well written, deeply humane and very funny

    Daily Telegraph
  • Pope Lonergan is always very funny even when dealing with the most serious subject matter

    David Baddiel
  • Pope is such a kind, funny and erudite guide through a world many of us ignore. I hope people read the book. It can’t possibly be what they think. It is exceptional

    Andrew Hankinson
  • Darkly comic, crushingly funny and impossibly uplifting. It makes you want to call every elder in your life and hold on to a piece of them while you still can. A triumph

    Desiree Burch
  • Pope is a hilarious and naughty guide through one of the most pressing political issues: social care. This book is a perfect blend of playful, provocative and powerful. So irreverent and honest and not twee or sugar-coated

    Josie Long

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