X-Book

Actually, I’m A Murderer

The Actually Murders (Book 1)

Click Buy to Log in and see personalised pricing.

Send as a gift Get in the xigxag app

Listen to a sample

What to expect

'Sinister and hilarious. Great fun' SUN

'[A] smart, funny and deftly executed page turner' GUARDIAN

'Extraordinarily fun and oh-so-gripping' i PAPER

'Dark, witty . . . had me racing for the end' JANICE HALLETT

'Funny, and so very, very clever . . . the most fun I've had reading a book in a long time ' M. W. CRAVEN

'Wonderful' IAN MOORE

______________

A hilarious and whip-smart crime novel by the multimillion-copy bestselling author of the Horrible Histories. The perfect mystery for fans of Anthony Horowitz, Richard Osman and Janice Hallett.

Four strangers on a train. An unlikely introduction:

'Actually, I'm a murderer.'

It is 1973 and the lives of four people are thrown into turmoil when sharing a carriage with an unremarkable little man with glasses, on the night train back to Newcastle.

By the end of the following day, one of them will be dead, one will turn blackmailer and another forced to commit a crime. And all of them will be under the astute observation of Aline, the local police officer with her own agenda to fulfil.

When the body count begins to rise, the question is: just how many murderers are out there... and who will be the next victim?
______________

'Laugh-out-loud funny' WOMAN & HOME

'A delightful joyride of a book' SIMON BRETT

'A fun page-turner . . . a gripping book and perfect for Knives Out fans' PRESS ASSOCIATION

'Gripping, original and hard to put down' KATE ELLIS

'Witty, wonderfully paced and great fun' MATURE TIMES

'Highly original and deeply engaging' FRANCES BRODY


* PRE-ORDER THE NEXT BOOK IN THE SERIES, ACTUALLY, I'M A CORPSE, NOW *

Critics Review

A crime story that's a pitch perfect mix of sinister and hilarious. Great fun
Sun
Extraordinarily fun and oh-so-gripping
i Paper
This smart, funny and deftly executed page turner is sure to please
Guardian
Laugh-out-loud funny
Woman & Home
A twisting, turning, unpredictable jaunt through a murder mystery that takes 50 years to reveal its deliciously captivating conclusion. With a cast of intriguing characters and a premise so ordinary and innocuous, I found myself drawn into a dark, witty story that had me racing for the end, yet reluctant to finish! Vivid, clever, cheeky and compelling
Janice Hallett, Sunday Times bestselling author of THE APPEAL
Actually, I'm a Murderer is the most fun I've had reading a book in a long time. Pitch-perfect in tone, funny, and so very very clever. I'd be surprised if I read anything better this year. Highly recommended
M. W. Craven, Sunday Times bestselling author of THE MERCY CHAIR
Full of dark humour, clever reveals and irresistible pacing. Pure crime fiction fun.
i Paper
[A] fun page-turner . . a gripping book and perfect for Knives Out fans
Press Association
A wonderful story told with increasing pace. A cross between Hitchcock and The Beiderbecke Affair
Ian Moore, author of DEATH AND CROISSANTS
Witty, wonderfully paced and great fun
Mature Times
A stunning first crime novel. Actually, I'm a Murderer is a delightful joyride of a book. Its switchback turns are managed with professional ease, so that the reader does not know exactly what happened until the very end
Simon Brett, author of the Charles Paris series
Warm-hearted . . . immersive
Buzz magazine
Gripping, original and hard to put down. I enjoyed this book so much
Kate Ellis, author of the DI Wesley Peterson series
One of the most surprising books I've read for 2025 . . . A cast of eccentric characters are woven in for what is a punchy and perfectly pitched story . . . so clever and fantastical
Belfast Telegraph
Highly original and deeply engaging
Frances Brody, author of the Kate Shackleton novels
Author Terry Deary
Narrator Adam Stevens, Anna Gilthorpe, Sam Stafford
Series The Actually Murders
Duration 8 hours and 55 minutes
Release Date
ISBN 9781405560696
Format Audiobook
Publisher Little, Brown Book Group
Genre Comic (humorous) crime and mystery, Crime and mystery fiction, Crime and mystery: private investigator / amateur detectives
Availability AU, GB, IE, US

About xigxag

xigxag is an independent, UK-based audiobook platform and the UK’s only B Corp certified audiobook company. We offer nearly 150,000 audiobooks, all with professional human narration. No AI-generated voices. xigxag is rated an Ethical Consumer Best Buy for audiobooks and a top-rated ethical bookshop.

There is no subscription. You buy the audiobooks you want, you own them permanently, and prices start at £8.99. The more you listen over the year, the less you pay per book, and there is always a selection in Listen for Less from £3.99. You can also send audiobooks as gifts using our audiobook gift cards or in-app gifting.

Every audiobook on xigxag has honest reviews covering both the book and the narration, and our community features make it easy to share what you are listening to, discover what others recommend, and find your next listen.

Download or stream on iOS, Android, or in your browser. Browse the full catalogue at xigxag.co.uk.