How to Be an Ex-Footballer

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What to expect

Brought to you by Penguin.

The funniest man in British sport - Metro

Peter Crouch is a comedy genius - Daily Mail

Often recruited before they've worn long trousers, today's footballers become superstars who earn huge amounts without ever learning much about the world beyond the training ground. Coddled by their support teams, everything is done for them. They live their lives in the glaring media spotlight, yet only really develop one life skill - how to kick a ball better. Then inevitably, when age catches up with them or injury strikes, these
man-children are thrown out into the real world, utterly defenceless apart from their multi-million-pound bank accounts.

So what do these Peter Pans, whose careers end just as most people's are getting going, do with the rest of their lives? Crouch speaks from his own experience and discusses with fellow former professionals too - just how do you safely release a near seven-foot striker back into the wild?

Peter goes in search of the answer to what his second career might be and encounters stories far more bizarre than anything you'll find on the pitch. From the pleasure and pain of management to the lessons we can learn from Jamie Carragher and Joe Cole on not going to seed. From those staying in the sport - the diehard veterans, coaches, managers, owners and of course the legion of pundits, to those moving on to pastures new. Peter talks to entrepreneurs, men of the cloth, eco warriors, artists, private detectives and budding actors, as well as those who've lost their way in addiction, crime and NFTs.

When the final whistle blows, it's still all to play for.

© 2022 Peter Crouch (P)2022 Penguin Audio

Critics Review

  • However overpaid and preening you might assume Premier League footballers to be, think again. They’re worse, according to this amusing insider’s account

    Sunday Times Sports Book of the Year

  • Who knew that a footballer could be funny? … What you realise, as you laugh out loud, is that football has been taken too seriously by too many people for too long… Most other football books wither by comparison

    Daily Mail Sports Book of the Year

  • As someone who’s been there, done it and got the ill-fitting T-shirt, Crouch is well placed to shed light on the bizarre world of the modern player in a funny, down-to-earth way… He made his name on the pitch … but with this book, Crouch proves he is a good sport off it, too

    Sun

  • On his way to being a national treasure… most enjoyable

    Daily Telegraph

  • The funniest man in British sport

    Metro

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