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It All Starts When You Do

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What to expect

A guide to overcoming self-sabotage from one of the internet’s most beloved therapists.

What if the biggest obstacle to happiness isn't your environment, your past, or other people — but a blindness to some uncomfortable truths about yourself?

In the book his fans have been waiting for, Kier Gaines sets the record straight: mantras and toxic positivity won’t solve your problems. Instead, Gaines offers a bold new path to getting what you want in life: You need to know yourself better. A lot better than you do now.

In It All Starts When You Do, Gaines walks you through the hard but rewarding work you need to do when you simply can’t figure out what feels off in your life. Whether your career is stuck in neutral, your family is driving you crazy or you’re struggling to find love, you'll learn how to:


  • Begin healing from the inner wounds you might not even be aware you have
  • Conquer unconscious emotional hijacking
  • Align your actions with your true desires
  • Build self-esteem based on solid evidence and effort, not empty affirmations
  • Stop consuming the empty calories of negative self-talk
  • Overcome the illusion of comfort that keeps you stuck


It All Starts When You Do will arm you with the tools you need to stop sabotaging your life and get down to the business of living it.

'In a world looking for quick fixes, It All Starts When You Do offers something real. This is the kind of work that doesn’t just inspire, it moves you to act.' Dr Nicole LePera, #1 New York Times bestseller

© Kier Gaines 2026 (P) Penguin Audio 2026

Critics Review

In a world looking for quick fixes, It All Starts When You Do offers something real. With honesty, clarity and practical insight, Kier Gaines guides readers back to themselves, helping them take ownership, face uncomfortable truths and create meaningful, lasting change. This is the kind of work that doesn’t just inspire, it moves you to act.
Dr Nicole LePera, author of the #1 New York Times bestsellers How to Do the Work, How to Be the Love You Seek and Reparenting the Inner Child
What I love about Gaines is his ability to help people feel deeply seen while also challenging them to grow. This book reminds us that the patterns getting in our way aren’t signs that we’re broken; they’re invitations so we can look inward, get to know ourselves more fully, and make small shifts that make a real difference.
Dr Becky Kennedy, clinical psychologist and #1 New York Times bestselling author of Good Inside
A call to action for your life. Gaines guides you with clinically sound evidence of what happens when you get into the driver’s seat of your life. Those looking for a push in a mentally healthy direction will find exactly what they need in this book.
Nedra Glover Tawwab, therapist and New York Times bestselling author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace
Gaines has the rare ability to make people confront the truths they spend their lives avoiding – without condemning them in the process. This book is not shallow inspiration for performative healing. It is honest, compassionate and deeply necessary work for anyone tired of pretending by silently struggling.
Jason Wilson, bestselling author of The Man the Moment Demands
Author Kier Gaines
Narrator Kier Gaines
Duration 7 hours and 8 minutes
Release Date
ISBN 9781529986396
Format Audiobook
Publisher Ebury Publishing
Genre Advice on careers and achieving success, Assertiveness, motivation, self-esteem and positive mental attitude, Positive psychology
Availability AU, GB, IE

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