It’s Them, Not You

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What to expect

Brought to you by Penguin.

'Blood is thicker than water'
'You'll miss them when they're gone'
'You can't choose your family'

How many times have you heard that family is sacred, even when your reality is different? It's Them, Not You smashes the false narrative that family is everything.

Equipping you with a deeper understanding of toxic family dynamics, resilience and wellbeing coach Josh Connolly will validate your experience and provide the tools you need to deal with emotionally immature parents and family members.

It's Them, Not You offers a pathway to heal your inner child and break free from past trauma. Whether your solution is to go 'no contact', place new boundaries or reconnect with community, this book is the ultimate handbook to help get unstuck and heal from the strongest wounds.

'A supportive and practical roadmap' - NICOLE LEPERA

'Deeply validating' - EMMA REED TURRELL


© Josh Connolly 2024 (P) Penguin Audio 2024

Critics Review

‘Josh Connolly’s It’s Them, Not You offers readers a supportive and practical roadmap to understanding and healing from dysfunctional relationships. Sharing his personal story, Josh gifts us with an intimate glimpse into his inspirational journey of self-discovery to overcome his own toxic habits.’

Dr Nicole LePera, holistic psychologist and bestselling author of HOW TO DO THE WORK

‘This deeply validating book will liberate you from your past and guide you towards a more fulfilling and empowered future. Josh does a brilliant job of myth-busting outdated social norms around parents and families, and encourages us to reclaim agency over our lives with greater understanding and enlightenment. He combines therapeutic insights and breathwork techniques in a uniquely transformative way.’

Dr Emma Reed Turrell, psychotherapist, podcaster, speaker and author of WHAT AM I MISSING?

‘Josh Connolly offers a compassionate exploration of one of the toughest relational journeys we may ever encounter. It’s Them, Not You offers a gentle and vulnerable approach toward breaking free of the cycles initiated in toxic childhoods. It’s a beautiful companion for anyone seeking emotional and relational freedom from the past.’

Dr Mariel Buqué, holistic psychologist and bestselling author of BREAK THE CYCLE

Josh Connolly is a powerhouse of change for people who are yet to find their own way or the courage to acknowledge and seek help for their childhood trauma. Doing this work is not easy but by embracing ourselves and working through the pain the child within us experienced, we can find authenticity and become our true selves.’

Hilary Henriques MBE, CEO of Nacoa UK - a national charity supporting people affected by a parent's drinking

‘It is very powerful when someone uses their own lived experience to support others facing the same challenges. This handbook is a must-have for anyone who has struggled with a toxic parent. It deals with issues that society is often too afraid to talk about, and in doing liberates those who have not been able to articulate or move through their own challenging experiences.

This is a brilliant book that not only brings clarity and understanding to the hugely important topic of toxic parenting, but also gives guidance on how to move through and heal from the trauma of your past in order to reclaim your present. Josh has an amazing ability to make a difficult topic totally approachable and relatable. An important book that will help so many.’

Maude Hirst

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