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On Our Best Behaviour
- Author
- Elise Loehnen
- Narrator
- Elise Loehnen
- Publisher
- Bloomsbury Publishing
- Publish Date
- 23 May 2023
- Run Time
- 11 hours 55 minutes
- Format
- Audiobook
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What to expect
*THE INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER*
'A stunning, big and bold encyclopedia of how to live' LISA TADDEO
'Astute, radical and utterly compelling' KATHERINE MAY
'You will finish this book and immediately hand your copy over to your best friend' JENNIFER ANISTON
_______________
Why do women equate self-denial with being ‘good’?
We congratulate ourselves when we resist the donut in the office breakroom. We celebrate our restraint when we hold back from sending an email in anger. We put others’ needs ahead of our own and believe this makes us exemplary. Journalist and podcast host Elise Loehnen explains that these impulses – often lauded as distinctly feminine instincts – are actually ingrained in us by a culture that reaps the benefits, via an extraordinarily effective collection of social mores:
Lust. Gluttony. Greed. Sloth. Wrath. Envy. Pride.
These so-called ‘deadly sins’ have been used by the patriarchy to control women throughout our history. For instance, a fear of gluttony drives us to ignore our appetites and an aversion to greed prevents us from negotiating a better salary at work.
So, what would happen if we stopped trying to be ‘good’?
Provocative and bold, On Our Best Behaviour is a probing analysis of history and contemporary culture that explains how women have internalised the patriarchy, and how they unwittingly reinforce it. By sharing her own story and the spiritual wisdom of other traditions, Elise Loehnen shows how we can break free and discover a path toward a more balanced, fulfilled way to live.
_______________
'This is a really important book' CHELSEA HANDLER
'A guide to liberation and a return to the authentic feminine self' GABOR MATÉ
'Brilliantly reframes our toxic cultural programming' LORI GOTTLIEB
Critics Review
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In On Our Best Behavior — a raw cri de coeur, penetrating social analysis, and revealing personal reflection — Elise Loehnen deftly deconstructs one of the central ideological buttresses of patriarchal society: the shaming of women for having human desires, strengths, capacities and strivings of body, mind, and soul. Doing so, she provides a guide to liberation and a return to the authentic feminine self.
Gabor Maté MD, author of THE MYTH OF NORMAL
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A stunning, big and bold encyclopedia of how to live – the first post-pandemic book to take our latest measurements and provide something fresh to comfort, embolden, enlighten and enrich who we are today. Loehnen is never instructive but always right. The book never flags and each section has a takeaway for how to live wiser, and an anecdote to help you feel less alone. On Our Best Behavior is nothing short of a tangible necessity in our new intangible world
Lisa Taddeo, author of THREE WOMEN
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With equal parts wit, wisdom, erudition, and warmth, author Elise Loehnen takes us on a guided journey through history, culture, and our own psychologies to not just investigate the limiting effects of Patriarchal thinking in women’s lives, but to free them. Pleasure, connection, trust, and joy - all these and more await the reader lucky enough to spend time in conversation with a truly remarkable mind. Half historical docent, half big sister with a hot cup of tea, read this author and change your life
Terrence Real, author of US
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What if women finally found freedom – because we gave it to ourselves? In On Our Best Behavior, Elise Loehnen brilliantly reframes our toxic cultural programming and helps us to see that what we thought were our sins are actually our greatest virtues. This book is the gift we have all been waiting for
Lori Gottlieb, author of MAYBE YOU SHOULD TALK TO SOMEONE
See more reviews See fewer reviews
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Elise Loehnen is absolutely excellent and this book is one of the most important books I’ve read in the last decade. It explores some of the main ways women have been insidiously conditioned subconsciously and consciously by society and culture. Please read this book, I found it liberating and we can only change what we are aware of!
Poppy Jamie
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A reimagining of our sins on a biblical scale, On Our Best Behaviour is astute, radical and utterly compelling
Katherine May
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The feelings On Our Best Behaviour envoked were quite extraordinary. I turned every page feeling less like I was alone for thinking so many of my thoughts. I have never read a book that has so immediately allowed me to feel as though so much of what I felt I had to do and to be wasn’t what I needed to do and be at all. This book feels like a long overdue turning point for women. I know this book, in full, part, or even a line, will allow a shift in the mind of every woman who has felt or feels she needs to be GOOD to have the life she wants
Pippa Vosper, author of BEYOND GRIEF
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This enlightening read explores the ways we learn to practise self-denials as women through the lends of the seven deadly sins and the devastating price we pay for it
Stylist
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Loehnen uses the seven deadly sins to track the ways in which women are encouraged to mute their own desires. It is a manifesto for happiness rather than busyness, for pleasure rather than fasting — a plea to stop racing towards a place that does not exist
Sunday Times Style
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Beautiful, intelligent, meaningful work
Shauna Niequist, author of I GUESS I HAVEN'T LEARNED THAT YET
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This is a really important book
Chelsea Handler
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On Our Best Behavior by the brilliant Elise Loehnen caused a tectonic shift inside me in terms of how I see myself, my mother, my daughter, my sister, my friends, and the whole world around me. It brought so much into crystal clear focus. I was shaking my head wildly, doing call & response with the pages as I entered each new chapter in awe and wonder. If clarity, understanding, compassion and peace are interesting to you, drop everything and read this book. You will never see “good” the same way again. This book will set you free
Jennifer Rudolph Walsh, editor of HUNGRY HEARTS
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Loehnen's book is a whirlwind of fury about the way the Seven Deadly Sins have been co-opted to keep us small and obedient
Sunday Telegraph
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The book is engagingly alive to the complexities involved
Sydney Morning Herald
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You’re going to love this book’s combination of history and argument and righteousness and kindness
Cool Story podcast
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Your book, at its essence, is pulling the thread of some pretty long held beliefs and potentially the fabric of society as we know it
ABC Radio Melbourne
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If you are a people pleaser, feel that you sacrifice your own needs, wants, feelings, and parts of your identity in order to feel loved and accepted, this book is perfect for you. It would also suit teenage girls, women in their 20s and anyone questioning their internal happiness
Glam Adelaide
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[On Our Best Behaviour] is a thought-provoking read that holds up a mirror to society . . . I devoured this book, even breaking out the highlighters and sticky tabs to mark my favourite quotes. It puts into words experiences I, and many other women, have known but may not have had the words to articulate until now. An absolute must read piece of non-fiction this year
Fashion Journal
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A deep dive into the everyday challenges faced by 30- and 40-something women, and an insightful look into the deeper societal forces at play. If you are Gen X you will feel
Primer: 21 of the Best Books We Read This Year
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An engaging work that offers an opportunity for pause and reflection regarding our daily choices
Kirkus Reviews
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A deep dive into my own psyche of questioning everything
The View
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You will finish this book and immediately hand your copy over to your best friend
Jennifer Aniston
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A fascinating read . . . it blows your mind. I highly recommend this book . . . I left feeling energized and galvanized to take back my true fucking freedom. And I hope it has the same impact on you
iWeigh
User Reviews
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Details
- Author
- Elise Loehnen
- Narrator
- Elise Loehnen
- Duration
- 11 hours 55 minutes
- Release Date
- 23 May 2023
- ISBN
- 9781526651907
- Format
- Audiobook
- Publisher
- Bloomsbury Publishing
- Genre
- Feminism and feminist theory, Gender studies: women and girls, Women’s health
Synopsis
Bloomsbury presents On Our Best Behaviour written and read by Elise Loehnen.*THE INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER*'A stunning, big and bold encyclopedia of how to live' LISA TADDEO'Astute, radical and utterly compelling' KATHERINE MAY'You will finish this book and immediately hand your copy over to your best friend' JENNIFER ANISTON_______________Why do women equate self-denial with being ‘good’?We congratulate ourselves when we resist the donut in the office breakroom. We celebrate our restraint when we hold back from sending an email in anger. We put others’ needs ahead of our own and believe this makes us exemplary. Journalist and podcast host Elise Loehnen explains that these impulses – often lauded as distinctly feminine instincts – are actually ingrained in us by a culture that reaps the benefits, via an extraordinarily effective collection of social mores:Lust. Gluttony. Greed. Sloth. Wrath. Envy. Pride. These so-called ‘deadly sins’ have been used by the patriarchy to control women throughout our history. For instance, a fear of gluttony drives us to ignore our appetites and an aversion to greed prevents us from negotiating a better salary at work. So, what would happen if we stopped trying to be ‘good’?Provocative and bold, On Our Best Behaviour is a probing analysis of history and contemporary culture that explains how women have internalised the patriarchy, and how they unwittingly reinforce it. By sharing her own story and the spiritual wisdom of other traditions, Elise Loehnen shows how we can break free and discover a path toward a more balanced, fulfilled way to live._______________'This is a really important book' CHELSEA HANDLER'A guide to liberation and a return to the authentic feminine self' GABOR MATÉ'Brilliantly reframes our toxic cultural programming' LORI GOTTLIEB
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