Seeing What Is There
- Author Erica Rex
- Narrator Elisabeth Rodgers
- Publisher Blackstone Publishing
- Publish Date 14 March 2026
- Run Time 9 hours and 46 minutes
- Format Audio
- Genre Biography: science, technology and medicine, Memoirs.
Click to open directly in the xigxag app.
Standard price shown. Sign in for personalised pricing.
Send as a gift Get in the xigxag appFlexible Pricing & Rewards For Listening
At xigxag, the more you read, the less you pay* on select audiobook and x-book® titles, as in the table below. Pricing updates automatically in the app and resets one year after your first purchase. And you can always find a selection of brilliant titles available for only £3.99.
Titles Purchased
- 1-5
- 6-10
- 11-15
- 16-20
- Over 20
Price per title
- £7.99
- £6.99
- £5.99
- £4.99
- £3.99
*Only the full price titles you buy count toward your personal pricing tier. Full price titles don’t include Listen for Less or other books bought with a voucher or discount code.
Listen to a sample
What to expect
For fans of Aldous Huxley and Timothy Leary, a woman’s personal journey unfolds in a historically documented and scientifically elucidated memoir of lifelong struggle to overcome CPTSD with the help of psychedelics.
In 2009 following a breast cancer diagnosis, Rex found herself spiraling into a depression that led her to a groundbreaking clinical trial at Johns Hopkins University in 2012, where she was given two doses of psilocybin.
As she reflects on her tumultuous childhood marked by violent abuse from psychiatrist parents, Rex uncovers the psychological influences that shaped her life and therapeutic search. Her journey intersects with a dark history of psychological experimentation, including the work of Harvard’s Dr. Henry A. Murray—her mother’s mentor—whose controversial research influenced modern psychology and led to the psychopathology of Ted Kaczynski, the Unabomber.
Despite years of failed conventional treatments, Rex sought alternative paths, discovering transformative healing through ayahuasca, MDMA, and 5-MeO-DMT. Seeing What Is There navigates the complexities of the psychedelic therapy movement, questioning its ethical pitfalls and motivations. Ultimately, Rex demonstrates that true healing requires more than just pharmaceuticals—it demands economic security, community, and social support, offering a powerful meditation on trauma, survival, and the potential for transformation.
Critics Review
“Exposes the dark heart of modern psychiatry and shows how the promise of psychedelic therapy is being subverted by ego-driven practitioners and pharmaceutical capitalism.”
“A mesmerizing combination of personal confession and deep scientific insights. Rex turns many expectations upside down and it is almost impossible to resist her reasoning and the personal voice she brings to it.”
“This important memoir critiques psychiatry and the psychedelic movement, exploring trauma, healing, and the ethical challenges of contemporary psychiatry…Students of psychedelics and psychiatry would do well to read this book.”
More from the same
About xigxag
Experience the best audiobooks with xigxag, an innovative and user-friendly audiobook platform designed for seamless discovery, purchase, and enjoyment of your favorite titles. Our flexible pricing model offers bestselling audiobooks for less, providing affordable prices and the best audiobook deals without requiring a subscription. Perfect for gifting, xigxag also features convenient audiobook gift cards and in-app audiobook gifting options.
Beyond the listening experience, xigxag stands as an exciting alternative to big tech, embodying a strong commitment to sustainability and ethical practices. As the only B Corp certified UK audiobook service, we ensure a guilt-free listening experience from a leader in audiobook innovation.
Effortlessly search audiobooks, access honest audiobook reviews that evaluate both the content and narration, and easily discover hidden gems. Whether you prefer to download or stream top audiobook titles, xigxag provides the best possible listening experience anytime, anywhere, on the UK’s best independent audiobook app. Discover the future of audiobooks today.