So Many Ways to Belong

Twenty years ago, Carol Atherton and her husband, Matthew stood together on the doorstep of a suburban house waiting to meet the small, red-headed toddler who would soon be woven into the fabric of their lives.

But that moment was only one of many thresholds they crossed on their journey to becoming adoptive parents. In the years leading up to it, they had found their path strewn with countless questions and clouded by the myths that have shaped our collective ideas about adoption.

What was the truth behind the sensationalist headlines and the dramatic depictions in books, film and television? What level of scrutiny would Carol and Matthew face? Who would their child be, and how had they come to be adopted? And what would they need from the family who were going to give them a home?

In the months following the first nervous call to the adoption agency, all Carol and Matthew’s assumptions would be upended. They would meet social workers, judges, support networks and foster carers, learning not only about the process, but also about the wider social and political realities of adoption – its complicated history, past injustices and ever-evolving future.

So Many Ways to Belong is the handhold Carol wishes she’d had two decades ago, when doubt and uncertainty shadowed every step. Honest and illuminating, it tells both a deeply personal story and the larger story of adoption itself—challenging stereotypes, exploding myths, and examining what it truly means to build a family.

Essential reading for those whose life has been—or may yet be—touched by adoption, and for anyone wanting to better understand its story, this is an empathetic exploration of belonging, identity and our very human need for rootedness: to know who we are, where we’ve come from, and how we fit in.

‘This is a beautiful read; a poignant, clear-eyed and ultimately hopeful account of the massive leap of faith that is the adoption process. Carol Atherton captures the reality of the challenges, the barriers and the ultimate joy in one of the most complex of human relationships.' Dr. Gwen Adshead, author of The Devil You Know

© Carol Atherton 2026 (P) Penguin Audio 2026