The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did)

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What to expect

Brought to you by Penguin.

THE #1 SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER

From the UK's favourite therapist, as seen on Channel 4's Grayson's Art Club.

How can we have better relationships?

In this Sunday Times bestseller, leading psychotherapist Philippa Perry reveals the vital do's and don'ts of relationships. This is a book for us all. Whether you are interested in understanding how your upbringing has shaped you, looking to handle your child's feelings or wishing to support your partner, you will find indispensable information and realistic tips in these pages. Philippa Perry's sane, sage and judgement-free advice is an essential resource on how to have the best possible relationships with the people who matter to you most.

'A wonderful book' Richard Osman

'So clear and true ... Helpful for all relationships in life' Nigella Lawson

'A fascinating read on the emotional baggage we all carry' Elizabeth Day

'It gave me hope as a new parent' Babita Sharma

'This has genuinely had such a positive impact on my life and my relationship with my daughter' Josh Widdicombe

'She writes with an inquisitive elegance rarely found in parenting guides ... it is forgiving and persuasive' Hadley Freeman, the Guardian

'Philippa Perry is one of the wisest, most sane and secure people I've ever met' Decca Aitkenhead, Sunday Times Magazine

© Philippa Perry 2019 (P) Penguin Audio 2019

Critics Review

The psychotherapist’s guide to raising happy, healthy children is one of the most practical and genuinely useful books out there. Warm and judgement-free, every parent should read this book
The i Paper
It is like a letter from a wise friend who happens to have done years of research (...) I am grateful for it
Aida Edemariam, The Guardian
Made me think about me and who I am and my parents and who they are and maybe, hopefully, one day what sort of parent I might strive to be
Dolly Alderton
I've had the most wonderful feedback from this episode. People stopping me on the street to say how much they've love the book's advice. Philippa's wisdom and delivery has resonated with many parents out there. I can't thank her enough for her time and energy
Happy Place podcast
I don't have kids but [this book] is a fascinating read on the emotional baggage we all carry
Elizabeth Day, How to Fail podcast
The Easter holidays were a complete joy because of your book - I feel about a trillion times more relaxed and connected as a parent and I have also found it very helpful for my sobriety and recovery
Bryony Gordon
A fascinating insight into how the way you were brought up impacts your relationships with your children and partner, and how to manage the needs of children while showing compassion to yourself
The Simple Things
EVERY parent should read this book, however old their child. In fact, any adult in a relationship should read it too. Distilled in less than 250 pages is a road map to healthy relationships. Required reading
Express
Not got kids? It doesn't matter, as the wonderful psychotherapist Philippa Perry's latest book is actually about using our pasts to understand ourselves (...) it's also an excellent book for reminding yourself: life is hard and you're doing your best - so try not to beat yourself up for everyday mistakes
Stylist
So clear and true ... can't stop recommending it to people ... helpful for all relationships in life, not just parent-child
Nigella Lawson

User Reviews

Book 4.0
Narration 4.3
3.0
5.0
Wanted to love but as an anxious introspective mother I wouldn't recommend. Have been struggling with the claim that I have permanently damaged my child's psychological health by sleep training ever since this book.
bethan.haitch 12/05/2025
5.0
5.0
I have 2 children and have now read this book twice. I read the hardback first, which I would possibly recommend because of the exercises. But it was really useful listening to it again, I had forgotten so much.
ginger_bobs 06/04/2023
4.0
3.0
A sometimes challenging 'alternative' parenting book. Many of the ideas in this book are gaining a lot of traction in parenting communities as 'gentle parenting' or 'authoratitive' parenting methods. In this book, the author provides explanations for why these methods may provide a good childhood experience and the hope for how it will shape the child growing up. There is a liberal use of case studies and reflective exercises to encourage readers to explore how they might use techniques in their own parenting journey. While the author often reiterates that there is no perfect parenting style, perfect family, or guarantee that these methods will work, they are still sometimes presented as a panacea for all parenting woes. Ultimately I found this an interesting read, and while I wasn't wholly convinced by some of the evidence or cases, I did find it useful to help challenge some of my own ideas about parenting.
jillysmith 08/01/2023

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