Listen to a sample
The Spick and the Span
- Author
- Pil Van Martin
- Narrator
- Alex Wingfield
- Publisher
- HarperCollins Publishers
- Publish Date
- 31 July 2025
- Run Time
- 7 hours 29 minutes
- Format
- Audiobook
Not available in your country
We don't have the rights to sell this audiobook where you are. If it's already in your library you can still listen to it in My Books.
What to expect
Imaginative, magical, wildly funny, and with a truly unique world, The Spick and the Span is an extraordinary, exciting fantasy middle grade adventure – perfect for fans of Jessica Townsend's Nevermoor, Jonathan Stroud's Lockwood and Co, Diana Wynne Jones' Howl's Moving Castle, and Terry Pratchett's Discworld.
Thanks to many generations of careless magicians, the city of Helm is overflowing with magic, which has made it a very dangerous place to live. Leave anything alone for too long and it will transform into something else: your house will turn to gingerbread, your teapot will start pouring pond water or – if you're really unlucky – your floor will turn to lava.
The magicians liked to pretend it’s them who keep the worst magical hiccups in check, but the real heroes of the whole sorry situation are of a wholly different occupation: equally well known but decidedly less respected.
The heroes of the city of Helm are the cleaners.
Ward, an ambitious twelve-year-old cleaner, wants nothing more than to belong to the League of Cleaners, who will grant him the prestige and popularity he's been looking for all his life – if only he can pass three near-impossible tests. Struggling toward this goal with a team he doesn't trust, Ward's world is upended when his friend disappears and mysterious magic-eating monsters appear all over the city and start tearing holes in the fabric of reality. Suddenly his ambitions are the least of his problems…
Hugely funny and exciting, and with an incredibly imaginative, original story, The Spick and the Span is the unmissable fantasy middle grade debut of 2025 – you'll never look at magic the same way again…
Critics Review
-
'Funny, wise, fantasy with brilliant world building. A Pratchett for today, it's a perfect funny middle grade fantasy.' – Louie Stowell, best-selling author of Loki: A Bad God's Guide to Being Good
'A hilarious, inclusive and heartwarming story … Fans of Terry Pratchett will love this!' – Philippa Leathley, author of Inkbound
'If you like your magic warm, inclusive and very funny read this book … if you love Pratchett, you'll love this.' – Patrice Lawrence, author of The Elemental Detectives
User Reviews
No reviews yet.
Details
- Author
- Pil Van Martin
- Narrator
- Alex Wingfield
- Duration
- 7 hours 29 minutes
- Release Date
- 31 July 2025
- ISBN
- 9780008724801
- Format
- Audiobook
- Publisher
- HarperCollins Publishers
- Genre
- Children’s / Teenage fiction: Magical realism / Magical fantasy, Children’s / Teenage fiction: Comic (humorous) fantasy, Children’s / Teenage fiction: Epic fantasy / heroic fantasy, Children’s / Teenage fiction: Family and home stories, Children’s / Teenage fiction: Friendship stories
Synopsis
Imaginative, magical, wildly funny, and with a truly unique world, The Spick and the Span is an extraordinary, exciting fantasy middle grade adventure – perfect for fans of Jessica Townsend's Nevermoor, Jonathan Stroud's Lockwood and Co, Diana Wynne Jones' Howl's Moving Castle, and Terry Pratchett's Discworld. Thanks to many generations of careless magicians, the city of Helm is overflowing with magic, which has made it a very dangerous place to live. Leave anything alone for too long and it will transform into something else: your house will turn to gingerbread, your teapot will start pouring pond water or – if you're really unlucky – your floor will turn to lava. The magicians liked to pretend it’s them who keep the worst magical hiccups in check, but the real heroes of the whole sorry situation are of a wholly different occupation: equally well known but decidedly less respected. The heroes of the city of Helm are the cleaners. Ward, an ambitious twelve-year-old cleaner, wants nothing more than to belong to the League of Cleaners, who will grant him the prestige and popularity he's been looking for all his life – if only he can pass three near-impossible tests. Struggling toward this goal with a team he doesn't trust, Ward's world is upended when his friend disappears and mysterious magic-eating monsters appear all over the city and start tearing holes in the fabric of reality. Suddenly his ambitions are the least of his problems… Hugely funny and exciting, and with an incredibly imaginative, original story, The Spick and the Span is the unmissable fantasy middle grade debut of 2025 – you'll never look at magic the same way again…
About xigxag
xigxag is an independent, UK-based audiobook platform and the UK's only B Corp certified audiobook company. We offer nearly 150,000 audiobooks, all with professional human narration. No AI-generated voices. xigxag is rated an Ethical Consumer Best Buy for audiobooks and a top-rated ethical bookshop.
There is no subscription. You buy the audiobooks you want, you own them permanently, and prices start at $13.95. The more you listen over the year, the less you pay per book, and there is always a selection in Listen for Less from $7.95. You can also send audiobooks as gifts using our audiobook gift cards or in-app gifting.
Every audiobook on xigxag has honest reviews covering both the book and the narration, and our community features make it easy to share what you are listening to, discover what others recommend, and find your next listen.
Download or stream on iOS, Android, or in your browser. Browse the full catalogue at xigxag.co.uk.