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Why We Suffer and How We Heal

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What to expect

Brought to you by Penguin.

When we’re enjoying spring and summer, we don’t imagine that they’ll last forever. The same should be true for our own lives.

A psychiatrist who has dedicated her life to treating global survivors of unspeakable horrors shares the three keys to resilience for weathering stress, loss and trauma in our own lives.

Some survivors are unflappable, yet it’s not their optimism or grit that carries them forward, but their acceptance of life’s inherent instability. In her debut book, Harvard- and Stanford-trained child and adult psychiatrist Dr Suzan Song draws from her clinical practice, patient stories and research to help readers release their unrealistic longing for stability, using the three tools that allow us to weather life's stormiest seasons: narrative, ritual and purpose.

Dr Song draws on the visual motifs of the ‘three friends of winter’ in Korean art – pine, bamboo and plum blossoms – plants that thrive even in the harshest of winters. For all humankind the universal ‘three friends of winter,’ are narrative, rituals and purpose. Why We Suffer and How We Heal will open us up to a new, heathier mindset and teach us to transform life's challenges into opportunities for growth and resilience.

© Suzan Song 2026 (P) Penguin Audio 2026

Critics Review

This book is a gift of empathy and lived wisdom – rare, real and deeply human. Dr Suzan Song’s voice is authentic and courageous; her words speak directly to the heart. Any reader of this book will come away touched, inspired and grounded in what truly matters.
Dr Koen Sevenants, former global lead for Mental Health and Psychosocial Support in Emergencies for UNICEF’s Child Protection Area of Responsibility
In Why We Suffer and How We Heal, Dr Suzan Song brings a message of hope to individuals who feel repeatedly upended by life’s adversities.
James L. Griffith, MD, professor of psychiatry and behavioural sciences, George Washington University School of Medicine
Why We Suffer and How We Heal inspires readers to make meaning of life’s struggles. This book is an exceptional contribution to the literature, akin to Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning.
Joseph C. Kolars, MD, MACP, professor of medicine, learning health sciences, and health management and policy, University of Michigan Medical School and University of Michigan School of Public Health

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