You Are Not Alone

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What to expect

Bloomsbury presents You Are Not Alone written and read by Cariad Lloyd.

NEW STATESMAN, THE TIMES AND EXPRESS BOOK OF THE YEAR 2023
‘Full of sense, heart and hope . . . the friend you need when you’re grieving’ PHILIPPA PERRY
‘This book is a game-changer. Read it before you need to’ DR KATHRYN MANNIX
‘It’s honest and warm and funny (in all the right places)’ JULIA SAMUEL

When Cariad Lloyd was just fifteen, she became the person-whose-dad-had-died; a mess of emotions and questions. She turned to the Five Stages of Grief model for guidance, but found its framework of loss was hard to reconcile with her messy and non-linear experience of grief.

In this wise and witty book, Cariad shares her grief road map – a collection of years of profound insights from experts and guests featured on her podcast, Griefcast – to remind us that you cannot do grief wrong. The flexibility of the map acknowledges that no two experiences of grief are the same and assists us in building a life around our grief.

So, welcome to the club. We know you didn’t ask to be here. But you will be okay. Because you are not alone.

‘A blackly funny, honest, thought-provoking and compassionate book’ THE TIMES
‘Feels like a warm bath . . . Lloyd's chatty writing style is familiar and funny’ NEW STATESMAN
‘A moving and funny meditation on loss’ OBSERVER

Critics Review

Grief: it is unpredictable and funny and sad, and You Are Not Alone captures this beautifully … It is a blackly funny, honest, thought-provoking and compassionate book that will be of comfort to all who know loss … Her chapter on modern mourning is fascinating …. There is useful advice on how to talk to someone who is grieving …. Lloyd encourages us to consider our own death in a chapter that is confronting and important. Most of us don’t want to think about it, but doing so could make life much easier for our loved ones … As the chapters progress, we see her teenage irritation and anger soften into a longing to have known him better. I teared up reading the list of questions she has for him … This is a book with great heart. As cliched as it might sound, you do feel less alone after reading it … This book helps to break the silence around something we all experience. ”We live, we die. That’s it. Isn’t it strange and normal? Isn’t it awful and ordinary?” Exactly.

The Times

This book is a game-changer, a grief companion for our time . . . Practical, kind, honest, generous. Read it before you need to. You can thank me later

Dr Kathryn Mannix, author of WITH THE END IN MIND

We do not talk enough about grief. Often, it is a lonely path. Cariad Lloyd has made it her life’s work to make us feel less alone, like we belong to a club, like our grief is both collective and individual, that there is no right way to remember those no longer with us, and that there is great comfort in talking about grief and death. Told with humanity, humour and honesty, this is a book for all of us, because we will all experience grief at some point in our lives, and this book will make us feel less alone

Dr Nikesh Shukla

Stunning . . . This is a necessary book for all of us, those new to grief, the old hands, or the simply curious to understand. Even though it is about death, it’s a guide book to life

Aisling Bea

It is the secret desire of many artists to make themselves useful and Cariad has achieved just that. A wise, warm and important book

Robert Webb

A pick-and-mix of insight into loss, filled with wit, warmth and wisdom

Alan Davies

I love this book. It’s honest and warm and funny (in all the right places), and connects us to our most vulnerable and robust selves. Everyone should read it

Julia Samuel

The most helpful book that I have ever read about grief…A book that you should read before grief takes over your life…I couldn’t recommend this book highly enough. Keep one with you at all times. At some point you, or someone you love, is going to need it

Fi Glover

This book is a must for the grieving, the soon to be grieving, for those who want to be with others in their grief and, well, EVERYONE, especially all mental health professionals. Full of sense, heart and hope. A book that will hold you… Like the friend you need when you’re grieving

Philippa Perry

Cariad has managed to write a book about the saddest thing in the world, that isn’t sad. Genuinely uplifting, a book that releases a tight valve in all of us

Dawn O'Porter

Reading You Are Not Alone felt like slaking a thirst. Gentle, compassionate and wise, it normalises and honours the true, messy scope of grief. It’s the kind of book you want to press into the hands of every grieving person, whether their loss is fresh or longstanding. I loved it

Katherine May

The thing about being in the white-heat of grief is that you feel so alone, that nobody else understands, nothing can help. You’re drowning in your snotty grief-soup, unable to find a flotation device. But “You Are Not Alone” now. Cariad is here. She knows you. She knows Grief. She has water-wings in your size. None of us will escape grief. Obviously. So, all of us must read this book. Obviously

Greg Wise

This is the book that the 14-year-old me needed when my brother died, but it’s also the book I really need now, aged 41 . . . Cariad is an extraordinary writer; generous, curious, honest and deeply empathic. Her book is urgent and necessary, like a friend offering wisdom and unconditional love during the darkest of times. It will be a huge support for people of all ages as they encounter their own journey through grief

Robert Diament

A book which manages to move, soothe and somehow still raise the spirits

Geoff Norcott

Cariad Lloyd has changed the way we speak about grief

Sara Pascoe

I want everyone I know to read this book. And everyone I don’t know

Stevie Martin

I wish this book had been around when I was younger. This really is an essential guide to the universal yet completely individual shape that grief takes. It will be a source of genuine comfort and solace for anyone. In fact, everyone should read this

Felix White

Kind, wise, and punctuated with perfectly timed comic relief . . . Cariad Lloyd offers us the space to cry, to laugh, and – when we’re ready – to remember . . . Cariad Lloyd finds the perfect words and ways to sit with us even as we sit with our grief, and hold our hands as we heal

Tara Flynn

Cariad has such a unique talent for that gentle line between comfort, humour and mind-blowing revelations around grief – and this book is one of the best I’ve read on the subject . . . I want to recommend this book to everyone – because all of our lives will be touched by grief if they haven’t already, and this is the book that will make sense of that in a world that seems senseless

Poorna Bell

Beautiful, honest, moving and funny, this book is a vital read for anyone who has been been in, or close to, grief . . . You’ll cry, you’ll laugh, you’ll learn . . . Everyone should read this book

Rachel Parris

The comfort blanket you need

Metro

A comfy companion for anyone struggling after the death of someone close

BBC News

Honest, funny, companionable first book, part memoir, part navigational guide through the sheer disarray of feelings that accompany a bereavement

Sunday Express

Powerful, inspiring and frequently funny

Waterstones

You are Not Alone is a comfy companion for anyone struggling after the death of someone close. It also includes insights from the likes of Marian Keyes, Rev Richard Coles and Isabel Allende

Radio New Zealand

Genuinely is an insightful book

Naga Munchetty

This warm, darkly funny book’s greatest strength is its sense of companionship. It is a shoulder to cry on, letting readers know that whichever way they choose to mourn, it’s OK, and they will be OK

i Paper

With warmth and compassion, Cariad shares her wisdom about how to navigate

Woman's Own

Cariad Lloyd’s warmth, generosity and gentle pragmatism makes her book one of the most reassuring I have read . . . It is an account of carrying grief and living alongside it, imperfectly . . . You Are Not Alone is explicitly designed to reassure, to show the reader that while they won’t ‘get over’ their bereavement they will learn to live with it and feel happiness again

The Spectator

Both a memoir and a manual. The book which she describes as for “anyone who has ever felt lost in grief”, feels like a warm bath. Lloyd writes with arresting honesty . . . But the book is not just tragedy and suffering. Lloyd’s chatty writing style is familiar and funny

New Statesman

Unpacking an issue as complex and delicate as grief and making it approachable and digestible is no easy feat, but Cariad Lloyd accomplishes just that with this striking new book

Independent

Lloyd’s wry mash-up of her own mourning with the experiences of people she has spoken to for her program Griefcast mimics the muddle of grief itself, and gives us permission to be all over the place, fine one moment, sad and bewildered the next

Sydney Morning Herald

If you’re new to bereavement, looking for a way through the death of a loved one, perhaps this doesn’t scream of optimism. But Cariad Lloyd’s warmth, generosity and gentle pragmatism makes her book one of the most reassuring I have read

Spectator Australia

In this moving and funny meditation on loss, Cariad Lloyd argues that shared stories are an effective response to death

Observer

A friend handed me Cariad Lloyd’s You Are Not Alone after the death of our close friend and I’m not sure I would have made it through the year without it

New Statesman: Books of the Year 2023

“Life and death are messy” is the message of this warm-hearted, sometimes funny self-help guide

The Times: 13 Best Biographies and Memoirs of 2023

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