How It Was

Get in the xigxag app
Already purchased

Click to open directly in the xigxag app.

This book is not purchasable in your country. Please select another book. Pre-order Buy Now £{{ price }} Send as a gift
How does xigxag pricing work?

Listen to a sample

What to expect

'IMMERSIVE, AMAZING, REMARKABLE' MARIAN KEYES
'JANET ELLIS WRITES WITH TENDERNESS AND WISDOM' ERIN KELLY
'AN ATMOSPHERIC, CLEVER NOVEL THAT WILL GET UNDER YOUR SKIN' RED

Marion Deacon sits by the hospital bed of her dying husband, Michael. Outwardly she is, as she says, an unremarkable old woman. She has long concealed her history - and her feelings - from the casual observer. But as she sits by Michael's bed, she's haunted by memories from almost forty years ago . . .

Marion Deacon is a wife and mother, and not particularly good at being either. It's the 1970s and in her small village the Swinging 60s, the wave of feminism, the prospect of an exciting life, have all swerved past her. Reading her teenage daughter's diary, it seems that Sarah is on the threshold of getting everything her mother Marion was denied, and Marion cannot bear it - what she does next has terrible and heart-breaking consequences for the whole family.

Janet Ellis writes of the exquisite pain of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, the complexity of family and a mother-daughter relationship that is as memorable as it is utterly believable.

'ELLIS WRITES BEAUTIFULLY' DAILY MAIL
'AN EMOTIONAL EPIC' GOOD HOUSEKEEPING
'AFFECTING, ENGAGING AND READABLE' OBSERVER
'A TALE OF SILENCES, SECRETS AND MISUNDERSTANDINGS' MAIL ON SUNDAY

(p) 2019 Hodder & Stoughton Ltd

Critics Review

You will love this - immersive, amazing, remarkable, I could barely breathe. I cried - and I never cry.
Marian Keyes
Ellis has a knack for depicting the way in which families struggle to communicate . . . engaging and readable
Observer
Ellis writes beautifully, with a great eye for detail. She has a wry comic touch and all the emotions are spot on.
Daily Mail
An atmospheric, clever novel, which will get under your skin
Red
A tale of silences, secrets and misunderstandings, of marital infidelities and of paths not taken . . . A fluent, convincing depiction of the poignant intricacies of family life
Mail on Sunday
An emotional epic. The former TV presenter's debut novel, The Butcher's Hook, was great, and this second one is also terrific, particularly in the way she writes about mother-daughter relationships.
Good Housekeeping
An engrossing read . . . a story of family secrets and twisted relationships
Mirror
An emotional read with humour and heartbreak in equal measure
Daily Express
Gripping . . . an engrossing read from a talented writer
Daily Express
Cataclysmic
Radio Times
Poignant, cleverly nuanced and funny
Sunday Post
It's wonderful. A brutal tale of a fraught mother-daughter relationship. The writing fizzes along. Loved it.
Emma Kennedy
Janet Ellis writes with tenderness and wisdom about how you can lose a child while they are still under your roof - and how a child long-lost will never leave you. I veered between laughter and a lump in the throat, often on the same page. This book will sneak up behind you and break your heart.
Erin Kelly
Explores the human condition with pin-sharp precision, so accurate it hurts. It's a raw read, complex and compelling in its structure, with emotions laid bare. Written with empathy and integrity.
Lynne Parker
A brilliantly written, dark domestic noir
Simon Savidge
Heartbreaking - I would definitely recommend. It's going to be a very popular summer read.
Jen Campbell
Wonderfully evocative, immersive and beautifully written
Kate Eberlen
I absolutely loved it. The careful evocation of an era is incredibly seductive . . . These are real, believable, fragile people whose lives the reader becomes totally immersed in and gripped by.
Imogen Parker
I ate this up in one day . . . it has such great characters and very realistic, imperfect relationships. A thoroughly immersive story that I would heartily recommend.
Bookish Chat
Lolita meets Madame Bovary . . . Ellis writes fantastically
Herald Publicist
It's equally as compelling as her first. I can't put it down!
My Weekly

More from the same

Author

Narrator

About xigxag

Experience the best audiobooks with xigxag, an innovative and user-friendly audiobook platform designed for seamless discovery, purchase, and enjoyment of your favorite titles. Our flexible pricing model offers bestselling audiobooks for less, providing affordable prices and the best audiobook deals without requiring a subscription. Perfect for gifting, xigxag also features convenient audiobook gift cards and in-app audiobook gifting options.

 

Beyond the listening experience, xigxag stands as an exciting alternative to big tech, embodying a strong commitment to sustainability and ethical practices. As the only B Corp certified UK audiobook service, we ensure a guilt-free listening experience from a leader in audiobook innovation.

 

Effortlessly search audiobooks, access honest audiobook reviews that evaluate both the content and narration, and easily discover hidden gems. Whether you prefer to download or stream top audiobook titles, xigxag provides the best possible listening experience anytime, anywhere, on the UK’s best independent audiobook app. Discover the future of audiobooks today.