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Patient, Female
- Author
- Julie Schumacher
- Narrator
- various
- Publisher
- Blackstone Publishing
- Publish Date
- 4 July 2026
- Run Time
- 7 hours 37 minutes
- Format
- Audiobook
What to expect
“Shrewd, sage, and so darkly funny.”—Claire Lombardo, author of The Most Fun We Ever Had
From the New York Times bestselling author of Dear Committee Members, a collection of wryly funny stories about ordinary women—in all their complexity, fallibility, and humanity.
An unsuspecting couple is treated to a luxury vacation by their deceased neighbor. After begrudgingly agreeing to volunteer at a nursing home, a middle school girl gambles over games of bridge with elderly residents. A single mother struggles to understand the unique bond between her autistic son and his dying grandmother. Four friends experience decades of highs and lows as pawns in The Game of Life. A professional gynecology patient runs into a high school flame while at work, undressed, on the job.
In this irreverent collection, celebrated novelist Julie Schumacher balances sorrow against laughter. Here, we experience story not only as narrative, but as syllabus and as board game. Each protagonist—ranging from girlhood to senescence—receives her own indelible voice as she navigates social blunders, generational misunderstandings, and the absurdity of the human experience. Exquisitely honest and expertly crafted, Patient, Female renders—with dark humor and wit—the foibles of human behavior and our endearing imperfections.
Critics Review
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“With the perfect blend of dark humor and compassion for her characters, Schumacher writes of the absurdity of the human experience.”
Literary Hub, “Most Anticipated Books of 2026”
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“Smart and humming with life, Julie Schumacher’s Patient, Female is the book I have been waiting to read. These stories are tender and witty, beautifully crafted, the kind of work that makes a person marvel at the long and messy experience of a life well lived. What a wonder! I deeply loved this collection.”
Kristen Arnett, author of Mostly Dead Things
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“Patient, Female is shrewd, sage, and so darkly funny—what a treat to take a break from this world and go spend time in Julie Schumacher’s.”
Claire Lombardo, author of The Most Fun We Ever Had
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“An audacious short story collection . . . Schumacher’s story collection is fresh, hilarious, dark, and upsetting all at once, making it a uniquely dynamic read.”
Minnesota Women’s Press
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“Julie Schumacher offers more of her signature wisdom and sharp eye for telling situations in these thirteen stories of contemporary life. Her people are robust and failing, wise and off the mark, yet they all move through compelling situations and maneuver crossroads toward a new beginning that the reader can imagine beyond the last line. Everything about these stories is expert—I read them with deep pleasure and satisfaction.”
Alice Elliott Dark, author of Fellowship Point
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“In turns, profoundly unsettling and slyly funny, Patient, Female explores the kaleidoscope of ways humans relate to each other—as parents, children, spouses, siblings, lovers, friends, and colleagues—with wit and needle-sharp prose. Julie Schumacher is brilliant at chronicling the high-tensile cable that connects even the most distant of family members, and the uncertainty and devastation that can result from even the simplest and most loving of choices. Truly, every one of these stories is a gem.”
Katherine Heiny, author of Games and Rituals and Early Morning Riser
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“Julie Schumacher’s mesmerizing collection made me laugh out loud at the same time that it filled me with a sense of foreboding. How does she manage it? With characters so finely tuned that they vibrate on the page and with a keen eye for the ways in which it’s our human lot to hurtle toward uncertain futures with our hearts laid bare. These stories are masterful and wise.”
Marisa Silver, author of Mary Coin
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Details
- Author
- Julie Schumacher
- Narrator
- various
- Duration
- 7 hours 37 minutes
- Release Date
- 4 July 2026
- ISBN
- 9798228959897
- Format
- Audiobook
- Publisher
- Blackstone Publishing
- Genre
- Short stories, Fiction: general and literary, Humorous fiction, Narrative theme: Coming of age, Fiction: general and literary
Synopsis
“Shrewd, sage, and so darkly funny.”—Claire Lombardo, author of The Most Fun We Ever HadFrom the New York Times bestselling author of Dear Committee Members, a collection of wryly funny stories about ordinary women—in all their complexity, fallibility, and humanity. An unsuspecting couple is treated to a luxury vacation by their deceased neighbor. After begrudgingly agreeing to volunteer at a nursing home, a middle school girl gambles over games of bridge with elderly residents. A single mother struggles to understand the unique bond between her autistic son and his dying grandmother. Four friends experience decades of highs and lows as pawns in The Game of Life. A professional gynecology patient runs into a high school flame while at work, undressed, on the job.In this irreverent collection, celebrated novelist Julie Schumacher balances sorrow against laughter. Here, we experience story not only as narrative, but as syllabus and as board game. Each protagonist—ranging from girlhood to senescence—receives her own indelible voice as she navigates social blunders, generational misunderstandings, and the absurdity of the human experience. Exquisitely honest and expertly crafted, Patient, Female renders—with dark humor and wit—the foibles of human behavior and our endearing imperfections.
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